IPL’s Deep Throat

I have again taken a long hiatus from posting in my blog. I would like to say, it is so, as I was a bit busy these days but somehow my conscious doesn’t permit this and I would be fair enough to accept that IPL has got a lot to do with this. Well I know few people who haven’t wrote anything in there blog for more than one month so I am considerably well off (Any Similarity or reference to Persons Living or Dead is Purely Coincidental.)

I always believed Cricket is the only thing that unites India. It is undoubtedly followed as a religion here. I remember watching India-Pakistan Under –15 Final in Shillong with around 50 people in a pub in 2003 and the excitement there was simply unmatchable. It somehow amazed me how this game, which we imbibed from our colonial imperialistic hangover, is bigger then religion, gender, caste, language, geographical boundaries that India is very famous for and is quite evident specially in this election season. So it hurt everybody when our biggest cricket extravaganza- IPL was shifted to South Africa (I hope SA also reciprocates the same by shifting some soccer world cup matches in 2010 to India preferably Kolkata, but again this is one of my wishful thinking).

We are already down with around one and half week of IPL and excitement seems steaming up. We have already seen how IPL has taken the thunder from election and suddenly cricketer and film stars are seen everywhere replacing politicians from newspapers and TV news channels. The other day one TV news channel “Till Today” featured an IPL special series called “Priety ko Gussa kyun aaya” showing Preity Zinta’s reaction in slow motion for every King’s Eleven wicket in a match again kolkata for nearly 30 minutes. Recently I checked IPL news has also got its very own space in the world of blogosphere with a new blog, namely under the name fakeiplplayer.

Apparently the blogger – calling himself Fake IPL Player claims to be a KKR team member has been writing about happenings in and around IPL, from dressing rooms to team meeting discussions to night parties and its various other ramifications. The blogger also uses names coined by him to refer to cricketers and owners. So the pieces are about Badshah dildo, Coachie, Skipper (Brendon McCullum), Calypso King (Chris Gayle), Lord Almighty or Lordie (a former skipper) and fast bowlers Kaan Mool (Ajit Agarkar) and Little John (Ishant Sharma). Then there are non-KKR personalities like a commentator, Kishen Kanhaiyya, a star batsman, Prince of Patiala and a pacer, Appam Chutiya (for sreesanth..Just love this name), among others.
Here are some of my favorites from his various posts:

“Lordie took over the match briefing, and boy, was he charged up or what. He just let loose, telling the boys what is expected of them – imagine the slowest member of the team chastising guys twice as fast on matters such as agility, speed and throwing.’’

“Little John skipped as it was optional training. I can understand it, he is after all a fast bowler and he def needed some time off after the "intense workout" he must have had last night. This is what I love abt top sportsmen. No matter how gawky u look or how squeaky u speak, u still get the chicks”

“Learnt a very interesting piece of news. Not sure if it's true or not. Apparently, Appam Chutiya wasn't slapped by Meera Bhai during last yr's tournament. He was crying because his team owner Babli hugged everyone after the match other than him. The Prince of Patiala saw an opportunity to take Meera Bhai out of the equation and accused him of slapping Appam. I think Appam is still waiting for that hug.”

Its time for me to sign-off now as Dada(Oops Lordie) is coming to ball against Rajasthan Royal now and yes I am still betting for Gayle’s 48-ball century in this match(another of my wishful thinking).

Ciao!!